As nature girl as I get

Twitter

2009-03-30T15:07:00.000-06:00

I’ve been hearing about this Twitter website for sometime now so a couple weeks ago I decided to explore more and see what all the hype is about. Well, after two weeks of exploring the only conclusion I can come up with is that Twitter is the biggest waste of time that we’ve come up with thus far. People who update their facebook status every hour are bad enough, but now there’s an entire new network devoted to updating us on what you’re doing? I don’t care that you had to eat Cheerios for breakfast this morning because you were out of granola, or that your dog peed on your computer and now the “Q” key is stuck. Do you have that much free time that you can update me on everything that you’re doing throughout the day? Well if you do then I suggest you find something to occupy your time that will actually make a difference instead of something as self-indulgent as Twitter. That is all.

Warranties

2009-03-10T11:05:00.001-06:00

Last night after work I stopped by the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things. Yes, I just said K-Mart because we don’t have a Target or a Wal-Mart here so I have been reduced to shopping at K-Mart. Anyway … so last night I go into K-Mart to get a mini food-processor to make salad dressing, pesto, etc. When I go to check-out, the cashier asks me if I would like to purchase a one-year warranty. I stood there for a second and thought about what he just asked me and what I wanted to turn to him and say was, “You mean to tell me that Black & Decker can’t guarantee their product even for a year so they’re asking me to pay them more money in case something on it breaks?”. But I refrained from making a scene and instead contemplated to myself all of the things you have to pay extra money (sometimes substantially more) for a warranty. To me this doesn’t seem right. I am paying good money for your product and you don’t have enough faith in it to think that it’s going to last even a year? You pay all of those Union workers a ridiculous rate and they can’t even assemble a food processor well enough for you to be able to guarantee it for a year? I mean, think about all of the things you buy warranties for. I have one for my iPod, I was asked if I wanted one for my vacuum cleaner and for my digital camera. Why pay $400 for a new iPod when they’re making you pay an extra $80 so that if something goes wrong they’ll actually fix it? I also have one for my computer and those Apple Care Plans are not cheap. I understand if you’ve had your computer for more than five years that it’s expected to run slower and you may have to replace a back light or something of the sort, but within that five year time frame it had better keep running well enough for it to be usable.

So needless to say, I refused the one-year warranty and kept my receipt. And you know what I’m going to do if that food processor breaks in the next year? I’m going to go back in there with my receipt and demand a new one.

Just Say No

2009-02-11T09:23:00.002-07:00

So I’ve made another gym observation. You may be wondering why so many of my blogs are written about the gym so allow me to explain. A – I really enjoy people watching at the gym. B – Anything I can do to take my mind off of the fact that I am voluntarily doing something that causes me to pour sweat and gasp for air is graciously welcomed. But I digress …

Thankfully I haven’t noticed this as a trend just yet, but on Monday there was one specific incident of a man missing the sleeves on his shirt. I wanted to stop running and go up to him and alert him to the fact that his sleeves must have fallen off of his shirt when he was leaving his house earlier. You know, the way you would politely stop someone if you saw Chap Stick fall out of their pocket. But then I realized that for some unknown reason it was no mistake that his shirt was missing sleeves so I just started judging him instead.

The only reason a man should have on a sleeveless shirt while working out is if he is a professional athlete that’s sponsored by the company who makes his shirt, therefore he is being paid lots of money to wear it. If that’s not the case, then go buy a shirt with some sleeves. I mean, does it cool you off that much more when the sleeves are removed? No, it doesn’t. And if you get that hot while working out then just take off your shirt all-together (and go run outside because we don’t want your sweat dripping all over the machines). No, you wouldn’t feel comfortable with your whole shirt off? Then guess what, if you’re not in good enough shape to exercise with your shirt off then you’re not in good enough shape to wear a sleeveless shirt either. Actually this might go for all Under Armour that is skin tight ... leave the tight workout clothes to the girls so there's something left to the imagination.

Dude Uggs

2009-01-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

So I can’t quite decide how I feel about the topic of men in Uggs. I mean on one hand they are very warm and practical for cold climates, but on the other hand I’d guess that 99.9% of Ugg owners are women. They were originally a trendy item and are still bought in order to be warm and fashionable at the same time because let’s face it, Sorel’s (http://www.sorel.com/) are just ugly and your Vasque Sundowners aren’t exactly warm. So I have come to somewhat of a conclusion. If you live somewhere that is legitimately cold then as a guy you are allowed to wear Uggs on very cold days. If you live in Charlotte and you’re walking around in Uggs, I will find you and make fun of you.

More Naked Ladies

2009-01-28T16:48:00.001-07:00

So I’ve discussed naked ladies in the women’s locker room before on my blog, but I now have a new angle. Naked ladies in the locker room who try to talk to clothed people. So I’m modest, we all know that, and I don’t run around the locker room naked, that’s what your bedroom and bathroom at your own house are for. Anyway … taking into consideration that it makes me uncomfortable to see naked ladies frolicking in the locker room in general, imagine my surprise when one of them tried to strike up a conversation with me last week. It’s like, “Listen lady, I am not making eye contact with you or even pretending like you’re in the locker room for a reason, so go on about your business and I’ll do the same”. So this woman just starts shooting the breeze with me the other day in the locker room, first commenting on how she likes my boots (and I love compliments on what I’m wearing with the exception of when you’re naked) and then talking about the weather and how getting in the hot tub was the best idea she’d had all day, blah blah blah. I’m glad you’re warm and toasty from soaking in the hot tub but please stop cornering me with your nakedness and let me change in peace and get to the treadmill because I did not come in here to talk to naked ladies, thank you.

Lost Luggage

2009-01-28T16:25:00.002-07:00

Having had my baggage lost time and time again when flying I have become very familiar with the process that ensues afterwards. Your luggage doesn’t show up on the belt, you have to wait in line and file a claim in that tiny baggage office, then your luggage doesn’t show up to your house at the expected time so you have to call and get real with the airline and demand your luggage and compensation (which by the way is never enough). “Here’s $100 for the three days we lost your bag, that will buy you similar clothes and toiletries right?” Lady, my flat-iron was more than that $100 you just told me I was going to receive (a month down the road I’ll have you know) so don’t think that would even begin to cover what my clothing allowance would need to be for three days.

Enough of that, the purpose of this post is to question how the luggage gets “lost” in the first place, not the terribleness that comes afterwards. I understand that they don’t hire rocket scientists to load luggage on an airplane, but let’s be serious here. Assuming that the tag on the bag is correct, how hard can it be? The tag tells you exactly where to take it and you throw it on the little conveyer belt that deposits the bag in the belly of the plane. I guess sometimes the plane is too heavy to take all of the luggage (that’s a whole separate post) but please explain to me how my luggage got to Mexico when I was flying from Jackson, WY to Denver, CO and then to Charlotte, NC. With the economy struggling the way it is you would think that customer service would be at its highest right now and that as soon as the airline realizes that baggage is lost they would get it on the next plane, but this rarely seems to be the case.

Today I had a client of ours call me from his honeymoon to ask me to please track down his and his new bride’s luggage that had been lost for THREE DAYS. Upon mentioning that the couple was on their honeymoon I expected Delta to fall all over the situation they were so willing to help, or offer compensation of some sort, but I even had to drag that out of them. So I have come to the conclusion that they should hire monkeys to load the luggage, at least then they would have a good excuse for how it got lost in the first place.

facebook and Work Don't Mix

2009-01-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

Co-workers and facebook. It’s a sticky situation and I’m not sure that I’ve decided how to handle it. If they ask to be your friend and you accept then they have access to photos from college and beyond that you think should be kept separated from your professional world. On the other hand if they ask and you turn them down they’re sure to be offended and maybe even question why you haven’t accepted their friend request yet. This is how the problem originated and how it could have been prevented: facebook should have kept to college students and left myspace to deal with the older generations who like to pretend that they’re tech savvy. But, of course they didn’t and now we’re stuck with this dilemma. What’s your take on the issue?

I Heart Clouds

2009-01-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

Grumbling, complaining and sad faces are what you usually expect when the clouds roll in and precipitation starts falling from the sky. With women in the South I find this especially true as I myself fall victim to the added humidity in the air that comes with the clouds, meaning that my hair starts growing like a chia pet on steroids.

However, since moving to Jackson I have found that in the winter time at least, the reactions are quite the opposite. You see, when the clouds start rolling into Jackson in the winter it means two things: a) it’s going to be warmer and b) here comes the snow! Sure we like a blue bird day every now and then, but only after it has dumped a few feet of snow. It hasn’t snowed here in over a week and people are starting to get antsy. Too many blue bird days in a row means that the quality of the snow has dropped significantly, something we’d rather not get used to. So imagine our excitement today when the clouds started rolling in and the snow started to get thicker and thicker … pow is on its way just in time for the weekend!

Skiing in Chanel

2009-01-20T13:57:00.003-07:00

While standing in line for the ski lifts I usually amuse myself by checking out everyone's ski gear. What's the latest jacket or the newest skis Jacksonites are wearing? I like to be kept in the know even if I don't necessarily need anymore ski gear.

Well a couple weeks ago as I was perusing the lift line, I temporarily thought I was in Aspen as I spotted a a woman in a tight all white ski outfit complete with white Prada ski goggles. Now I'm all for designer clothing, I wish I had more of it, but on the ski slopes in Jackson Hole? A town that welcomes its visitors with a sign that says, "Howdy Partner, Welcome to the Last of the Old West"? I don't think so. People don't move to Jackson to show off their designer duds, people actually frown upon them here and that's one of the things I love about it. When you say designer and ski outfit in the same sentence we assume you are referring to Patagonia, Cloudveil or Marmot, but Prada? No way.

It's nice that you have a sense of fashion, but here in Jackson no one sees it that way. We just see someone who is lost and who we'd like to hand a map to with directions to Aspen. Sure celebrities flock here, but do you know why they come? Because it's so low key and they can just relax. Have any of you ever seen Victoria Beckham in flat shoes or sweats? No you haven't, but I have because that's what she was wearing while visiting Jackson a month ago. Harrison Ford hangs out at the Mangy Moose and you'd never know it was him because he's in his ski gear, drinking a beer at apres like everyone else. So if you're looking for a place to ski where you can maintain your designer dud status, please cross Jackson off of your map because we don't want you here.

Knee-Highs

2009-01-07T14:51:00.002-07:00

Recently at the gym I have been noticing that men favor high socks while working out. Now, I expect this of older men even though I don’t condone it, but I have seen younger men, I’m talking in their 20s with high socks. I mean, are you cold? Did you forget to bring a pair of ankle socks for the gym and you’re just wearing your work socks? Are you trying to make some sort of fashion statement by accentuating your calves? Well stop, you look ridiculous! If you’re cold enough that you need to have on higher socks, then start moving faster because you’re not working hard enough. Or, wear pants, therefore covering up the fact that your fashion sense below the knees is non-existent. I have to admit, I have forgotten to bring gym socks before or haven’t wanted to dirty up more than one pair of socks in the same day, and in that case, guess what you do … roll them down!

When I see these boys with their shorts and high socks on, the first thing that comes to mind is my grandfather playing tennis in the early 90s. I mean, come on, times have changed since then and y’all know better than that, so hopefully no one reading is a victim to the current high sock trend that seems to be sweeping the gyms of Jackson Hole.

snow!

2008-11-12T13:58:00.001-07:00

For those of you living in the warmer climates of the U.S. you may find it shocking to believe that here in Jackson Hole the snow is really starting to pile up! We got our first big snow in September and for the past couple weeks it’s been non-stop. While here in the valley we’re having a problem keeping it from melting, up high on those ski slopes it’s sticking! So not only do we have the snow going for us, but the new tram cars are up and running on the cables, albeit with no passengers as of yet, but we’re well on our way! Grand Targhee over in Idaho opens next weekend and Teton Village opens the following weekend. I will continue praying to the snow gods throughout the winter and I encourage you to do the same.

More about the phone ...

2008-11-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

I am blaming the manners fiasco that we face today on California. California does not hold tradition in high regard and judging from LA, people are so concerned with themselves that they don’t care about others, but I digress. When someone is calling you, I don’t care if it’s at work, at your home or on your personal cell phone, all of their attention should be on you and therefore they should not be yelling at someone in the background when you answer their phone call. When that happens the first thing I want to do is hang up on them. The second thing that comes to mind is to tell them how rude they’re being. If you can not devote your full attention to the person you are calling then wait 10 seconds until you are done yelling at whoever is in the background and then press send, how difficult is that? That’s what I thought.

xoxo - Gossip Girl

2008-09-29T16:17:00.001-06:00

If you have not yet seen this show, then climb out from under the rock where you’re living and get with it. With people swimming in technology these days, there’s no reason you should be missing out on Gossip Girl. DVR it, Netflix last season, read the blog http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/09/gossip_girl_tosses_a_nairtini.html (thank you my New York insider).

I can’t remember the last time I was sucked into a television show like this, chatting about the characters as if they were friends of mine. At times it seems a little embarrassing until I remember that the majority of my friends (males included) are acting the same way; like giddy, sassy high schoolers who only wish we were cool enough to get a table at Butter or throw a party at The Mercer. We gossip about the characters and the actors as if we actually know their life stories. We want to look and dress like these people, frequent the same restaurants and clubs and even make friends with their fictional characters. If you watch the show as well, I believe that you will agree with me that it is completely understandable for 20 and even 30-somethings to be infatuated with a television show about snobby high schoolers who, despite their age, are among the elite of Manhattan.

Last Tuesday after watching the most recent episode I came into work excited to chat to my co-workers about it, only to find out that they have never heard of it. My jaw dropped and a look of utter astonishment was plastered across my face as I replied in a “B” (aka Blair Waldorf) tone, “How have you never seen Gossip Girl?”. This means I can not call my co-workers by their first initial as they will simply give me a confused and disapproving look; boo.

Funny how we are drawn to television shows that point out everything wrong with society, eh? Greed, arrogance, lies and scandal. Yet some part of us wishes we were them. When “B” makes fun of another girl’s Tory Burch Reva flats because they are last season’s I found myself wondering: a) How can she tell and I can’t? And b) Maybe I need to get this season’s Tory Burch flats too! It’s all so ludicrous, but having a glimpse into the lifestyle of UES private high-schoolers is somehow riveting, making me want to imitate them, and every Monday leaves me wanting more.

Cell Phones at Work

2008-09-29T14:49:00.000-06:00

Again – what is wrong with people that they have forgotten common manners? Obviously most people are going to bring their cell phones into work, it’s expected since we all feel the need to be connected to the world via Internet and phone (nowadays, one in the same) 24 hours a day. But what is so difficult to understand about turning off the ringer? I realize that the old people who didn’t grow up with technology may find it a little difficult to get adjusted to and may have trouble figuring out how to go about this, but there are young people all around that would fix that problem in 10 seconds. And if you’re having that much trouble with it, then turn it off completely or leave it in your car! Not only that, but it seems that the older generations who not only can’t figure out how to turn their phone on silent or vibrate also pick the loudest most obnoxious rings possible. You know, the ones that sound like you’re in a techno club with the high sound pitches that only neighboring dogs can hear. Is this because you are deaf? Or you want everyone within a 10-mile radius to know that you’re up-to-date on technology with your “hip” ring tone? Well you’re not. You’re ring is obnoxious and you’re annoying everyone in the office all because you can’t take the time to press a button and silence your phone. Not only is the ringer already loud and obnoxious, but when it goes off, you twiddle your thumbs for a while before even considering turning it off. Want to make sure it’s really for you? Do you like the ring so much that you can’t get enough? For the love of God, turn your cell phone ringer off, you are making no friends this way. No couth.

Office Rules

2008-09-16T15:15:00.000-06:00

Apparently even the elderly need to be reminded of their manners every now and then. It is not appropriate to talk about religion or politics in the work place, period. Obviously I side with the conservatives when it comes to voting but this goes for conservatives and liberals alike. There is a time and place to discuss politics and it is not in your office during business hours. Obviously living in Jackson Hole I expect to encounter many a liberal, but there are ways to handle it. Trying to push your views onto other people in a hateful manner is only going to make people mad and even more adamant about their already differing views.

Obviously people are going to have conflicting views when it comes to politics, fine by me; it’s what makes the world go ‘round. I don’t care if you don’t believe in what conservatives stand for that’s your choice to make and no one can force you to believe otherwise. But being hateful towards candidates who in their eyes are aiming to make our country a better place is a completely different thing, even if you don’t agree with them. Sure, I don’t agree with the majority of the things Obama says, but do you hear me bad mouthing him? No, because it’s tacky and rude and I was raised better. Going against all of my strongest urges at work and keeping my opinions to myself when it comes to this is one of the harder things I’ve had to do, especially when comments are made by persons who obviously haven’t read up on both sides of the story thus making them sound like bumbling idiots. But, I sit in my cube, tight-lipped and clench-fisted and read www.foxnews.com in an attempt to fool myself into thinking that I work with at least one person who isn’t an angry liberal.

P.S.
Sarah Palin is having a fundraiser a block from my office on Wednesday at Teton Pines Country Club … the angry liberals have joined forces and are lining the bike path to protest. If I was a democrat, I’d be embarrassed.

P.P.S.
The "Lipstick on a Pig" conversation is getting old, on both parties sides.

Real Life Home Alone

2008-08-04T12:15:00.001-06:00

Apparently parents really do leave their children behind in airports as they board planes for luxury vacations ... it's just not as funny in real life when you're questioned about parental negligence.

Musically Talented

2008-07-25T12:33:00.002-06:00

Although it may be no “Last Play at Shea” it seems that in the summertime, along with hiking, biking, rafting and fishing, the Tetons are all about concerts. So far this summer I have had the opportunity to see Jonny Lang (and meet and chat with him!), Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi, Taj Mahal Trio, Grace Potter, Emmy Lou Harris, Lyle Lovett and tonight I get to see Yonder Mountain String Band as a part of the Teton County Fair. That doesn’t include our local bluegrass acts that play nightly at various venues around town.

And although I won’t be here to see them (am devastated), The Black Crowes, Robert Randolph and the Family Band (my favorite to see live), Ben Harper, Wilco, Brian Wilson and The Avett Brothers among others are playing in the first annual Jackson Hole Music Festival that will take place on Jackson Hole Mountain Resort in August.

Being in Jackson I have definitely been exposed to a different genre of music than I was back home. Kenny Chesney doesn’t tour regularly out here so as far as live concerts go, I’ve adopted bluegrass as my version of country, and plaid shirts w/ pearl-snap buttons have replaced the cut-off t-shirts Kenny has become infamous for.

On a completely random note – Harrison Trammell is coming to visit this weekend from Bozeman, MT! I lured him into driving down here with Yonder and the Teton County Fair. Yee-haw.

Pig Wrestling.

2008-07-24T17:45:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon as I was telling a few friends from back home what my evening plans were, I could see their reaction through the phone. That look you get on your face when you answer someone back with, “huh?”. Last night, I watched my friends wrestle pigs.

The Teton County Fair is in town this week and along with the Demolition Derby, fair rides, funnel cake and a performance by Yonder Mountain String Band, one of the main attractions is pig wrestling. They have this event for all ages and pick the size of the pig accordingly. The rules are as follows:

1 – Come up with a team of at least 4 people.
2 – Dress up in ridiculous costumes and consume a large quantity of alcohol (for the adult division).
3 – Enter the pig pen full of mud, an empty barrel and a scared pig.
4 – When the whistle blows chase the greased pig in circles while trying not face-plant in the thick mud. Running leaps onto the pig are much appreciated by the crowd.
5 – If you are able to corner the pig, lift him up (while squealing) and put him (bottom first) into the 3’ barrel in the center of the round pig pen. Easier said than done.
6 – Get hosed off by the Jackson Hole Fire Department (what I’ve been told is the worst and most painful part of the whole experience).

While about half of the teams were able to get the pig into the barrel, our two participating groups of friends were not. They were entertaining to watch as the boys were in suits and tuxedos and the girls were in 80s prom dresses. Falling is non-negotiable as the further into the wrestling you get, the more they hose down the mud. Going down face first, being kicked over by the pig and pushed down into the mud by your friends comes as part of the experience. Needless to say, watching over served grown adults in costumes chase a greased pig around in circles in the mud serves as the highest quality of entertainment.

How hard is a firm handshake?

2008-07-17T15:36:00.001-06:00

A handshake. It sounds simple enough, right? I mean, there’s only one rule, give a firm hand shake, how hard is it to get it right? Apparently like the rest of America’s manners, this one too has slipped through our fingers (pun intended). I still don’t know why it is that when you meet another girl, she feels the need to stick her hand out like a dead fish. Like she’s annoyed and is doing you a favor by giving you her hand. If you want to be dainty, fine, but the only think that a sissy handshake tells me is that your momma didn’t raise you right. Give me a real handshake and let me know you mean it. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression and a limp handshake makes a very poor first impression. It shows me that you don’t care one way or the other. I mean if you hate my guts before even meeting me fine, but give me a strong handshake so that I’m a little scared of you. Or if you’re excited to meet me then put some enthusiasm behind it. If you’re just indifferent then you have other problems that I can’t help you with because meeting new people is one of my favorite things to do.

Another thing … what happened to the rule that you’re supposed to stand up when meeting someone? It’s not that difficult. It takes about 10 seconds and a minimal amount of energy to get your lazy self out of your chair and give a firm handshake. After doing so (and meaning it) you are free to continue the conversation you were having, or even better, find out a little bit about the new person you’ve just met. It’s as if people feel that the new person owes it to them to make the extra effort when they are the one who is out of their comfort zone.

Don’t be rude people, get up out of your chair and make a good first impression.

Spoiled

2008-07-16T11:59:00.001-06:00

While I do consider myself a part of the tirade to follow I still wish to express these views … Today’s children are spoiled rotten. The theme of the children of today seems to be, “I want it, I want it now, and I don’t feel that I need to do anything in particular to deserve it.” Most of us get cars around the age of 16. Most of us have nice clothes. We expect good presents when Christmas or our birthdays roll around. When the time comes, we expect to have a nice wedding thrown for us along with a fancy honeymoon to some far-off destination. What happened to earning all of these things yourself? If you’ve been handed these things from the get go then what do you come to expect when you’re older? You’ve already been spoiled so what is there to look forward to?

While doing a little research at work on The Plaza in New York City last week I got to thinking about Home Alone II and how it was filmed there and decided to look it up. Turns out back in the 90s they had a Home Alone package you could get if you were staying in The Plaza. The children they interviewed sounded like they thought they were entitled to this package, they deserved it. And their parents weren’t any better. It wasn’t a birthday or Christmas present, it was just because. They wanted the custom made ice-cream sundae, the big bath tub with the blow-up clown, and cookies and treats in the mini fridge, their underwear dry-cleaned and they got it. Don’t get me wrong, I would have died to stay at The Plaza and get the Kevin McCallister treatment, hell, I still would, but I would have been laughed out of the house if I had asked for it and honestly thought it could become a reality, as I should have been.

Sure I believe that if you are well off you should be awarded the privilege of buying your children nice things. But you should also make sure that they know you worked hard to be able to spoil them and that if they want the same thing for them and their family, they will have to do the same.

Tourist, Touron, Tourista. They're All the Same.

2008-07-16T11:46:00.000-06:00

Tourists. They are EVERYWHERE. And let me preface this with I know I shouldn’t complain because they are what makes Jackson go round and I wouldn’t be here without them. Blah blah blah. They are terrible, worse every year than the last. They drive 10mph under the speed limit. They fake you out with their blinker and get you excited that they’re finally going to be out of your way, only then they realize that this isn’t their turn and they continue this little dance with you 4 more times before finally removing themselves from your path. And they’re in disguise in their cars w/ their faux Wyoming license plates. Maybe their rental cars can claim Wyoming and/or Idaho as home, but they can not; and as soon as you get close enough you know they aren’t local. They’re trying to drive with a map spread out in front of them, quiet the kids, take a photo of a bison, and eat McDonalds at the same time. They need their own roadway.

I’m sure McDonalds, Wendys and Taco Bell (Jackson’s only fast food) get real excited when city comes to town in the form of the tourons (a cross between tourist and moron). People in Jackson know better than to eat fast food on a regular basis, if ever, so look out Wendys, here’s the only line you’re going to have all year. Which brings up another point. They don’t have to have binoculars around their neck or a fanny pack strapped to their waist to pick out of a crowd. Oh no. If you spot anyone who is overweight and/or out-of-shape, they’re a tourist. I forgot the epidemic that is plaguing the rest of America until a recent trip home because people in Jackson don’t fall in that category. We’re outside all the time, cramming activity into every bit of daylight we can muster. People mountain bike, kayak, raft, run, hike, rock climb, mountaineer, camp, etc. And since there are only 3-4 months where we can squeeze summertime activity in, we are slammed all summer trying to do so, hence why we have an off-season; we have to recover.

That said, I love visitors and if you’re staying with a local (i.e. me), I can give you a pretty good disguise so that people don’t poke fun at you.

"Sports"

2008-06-21T09:44:00.003-06:00

How is it that you can have professional athletes that are overweight and out-of-shape? The entire defensive line of a football team looks out-of-shape to me. Don't get me wrong, I am well aware that they could tackle me into oblivion, but if they had to chase me down that field in order to make that happen, I'm just not so sure that they could. Same goes for NASCAR drivers. I mean, Tony Stewart, come on now. As much as those boys are sweating in that car you'd think they'd sweat everything off, it's like being in a steam room for 3 hours.

Let's talk about some athletes who can't fake that they're in-shape. Soccer players. I think myself, along with every other sensible girl at Myers Park High School had it right all along when we knew to pay more attention to the soccer games than football. I mean those boys now, eight years later, are still the best looking guys that graduated from that high school. That means you too Mr. Chip Jetton.

I was only reminded of this while at the gym the other day when professional soccer was on television. Those boys are the best looking out of any other professional athletes. So girls, forget going to a school with a good football team, I vote for a school with a good soccer team.

2008-05-18T22:17:00.002-06:00

Sorry, sorry. I know it's been a while since the blog has been updated. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I'd actually be busy at work with things that interest me (essentially stalking cool people and booking their travel at the same time). Anywho ...

Celebrity diets. As many of you may have noticed, Mariah Carey has been in the news quite a bit lately, first for her weight loss, then her album and then her marriage. Well today we will be focusing on her weight loss. While watching Mariah on Oprah the other day, she "revealed" her diet secret ... a live in chef and personal trainer all in one. Well no shit you're skinny Mariah! If I could afford to hire a personal chef and trainer to live with me, I'd be just as skinny and in shape as you are, as would everyone else in America. I mean, these celebrities get so much publicity for looking as good as they do and it's ridiculous. A - that is their job, they are actually getting paid to be beautiful. B - they can afford to have trainers, chefs and etc to work for them and make tofu taste like fried chicken. So am I impressed with them being in shape? Hell no.

If you are a fat celebrity then something is wrong with you. You have all of the tools right at your fingertips as well as the stress that Hollywood places on you to be in good shape. So next time I get down on myself for not being as in shape as I would like to be, I am going to remember that I have a full-time job AND I have to work-out, they are not one in the same, and I suggest you tell yourself the same.

NEW JOB!

2008-04-23T15:34:00.002-06:00

For those of you that I haven't told already, I have a new job! Yes, yes, another new job in Jackson. But I am extremely excited about this new opportunity!

I will be working for a company called Aspen Travel. They're a travel agency that deals exclusively with the entertainment industry. They have major bands as their clients and when they go on tour, Aspen Travel books everything for them. I will start off almost as an intern, working for different departments so that I know and they know what the best fit is. You all should know how I like to plan things, so it seems like a perfect fit!

Hopefully it won't be long before I'm rubbing elbows with rock stars. Yay!

Bikers

2008-04-18T12:09:00.001-06:00

The bike riding individuals (almost everyone) of Jackson are coming out of hibernation and I am slowly but surely beginning to get annoyed with them yet again. Bike riders are supposed to follow the same rules as cars do, after all, we're supposed to share the road with them so it only seems fair. Well, after living in such a bike-friendly town I have discovered that almost none of the bike-riders in town follow any such rules.

They hog half the road, riding side-by-side. They never stop at stop signs, after passing a whole line of traffic. They never signal, and seem to cut out in front of you. Well I have news for you. If I have completed my full stop and it's time for me to go and you on your bike don't feel the need to stop, guess what? I don't feel the need to stop for you either and don't really mind if I give you a slight nudge as to tip you over and scare you. That's right. I don't care. It wouldn't be my fault because the bike-rider was the one breaking the rules. So if you see a grey Tahoe coming at you, that fear you have in the pit of your stomach is justified because you're about to get run over.

Deadly Sin #8

2008-04-18T11:55:00.002-06:00

Male jewelry. This is simply not acceptable in any instance. The ONLY jewelry any man should ever be allowed to wear is a watch and a wedding band. That's it. No exceptions. Sure when you were in middle school you might have worn a white shell necklace, but those days are behind us and hopefully the photographic evidence has been burned. Your mother/sister/girlfriend told you how ridiculous you looked and thankfully the necklace has disappeared.

As soon as I picture a dude with jewelry on I immediately assume they are from north of the Mason Dixon line, have a stain on their pillow from their hair gel, and frequent the tanning bed. If that's the kind of guy you want to be, then great, but don't assume that the rest of society is going to accept you like that, especially women.

Jewelry is the equivalent of a woman repeller. Anyone seen the friends episode where Joey gives Chandler the gold bracelet? Exactly, even Chandler, a New Yorker realizes the terribleness of male jewelry. I'm adding that phrase to wikipedia right now as an oxymoron.

Photos!

2008-04-15T08:49:00.006-06:00

1 - From the last day at Jackson Hole. Note the ridiculous outfits, and we were just the tip of the iceberg. Rachael, me, Charlotte and Megan.

2 - Last day at Targhee with everybody. So warm, finally!

Deer = Dumb

2008-04-14T09:51:00.002-06:00

I have recently come to the conclusion that deer are one of the dumbest animals on the planet. I have been house-sitting for a co-worker in Hoback (about 15 minutes south of Jackson) and the deer are everywhere. Their heads aren't that small, so you would assume that their brains are pretty sizable but that's just not so. If I saw something barreling towards me at 60mph, my first reaction would be to run the opposite way, but no, deer feel the need to stand right where they are. Do they think that by some magical force they are going to levitate, or that the car can go through them without injury? In some cases (Jonathan) the deer actually run full speed into the car. You don't even have to hit the deer to kill it, it will hit you. Idiots. You would also think that they would learn from example. When they watch their brother get hit by a car and killed, surely they would learn to stay away from the road when there are cars, but no. For these reasons I do not feel sorry for deer when they get killed. I feel sorry for the person whose car they have mangled. The only good thing about this is that you get free deer meat.

This brings up another point. Deer hunting. If deer are so stupid that they just stand in the road waiting for cars to hit them, it can't be any harder to kill one in the woods, yet somehow, Bob, Jonathan and Benny seem to be having a wee bit of trouble with this concept. Benny is pretty much excluded because he killed 4 last year, but Bob and Jonathan, come on. I assume you've learned by now that playing cards while in a tree stand isn't working for anyone, so what's the hold up? At least we don't live 300 years ago when people depended on hunting for living. Phew. You two would never get a wife ... or maybe that's a good thing?

Wyoming Weather

2008-04-08T09:54:00.002-06:00

In Jackson there is a saying ... "If you don't like the weather, wait 10 minutes". Well, it's been 5 months and there is still snow on the ground and it is still below freezing. Now, I love skiing, I love the mountains and I love that it doesn't get hot and humid here. With a reported total of 605" of snow from the time the resort opened to when it closed on Sunday, it has been an amazing ski season. My skill level has improved greatly, I've had the chance to ski in the back country, I've hiked the Headwall and even skied double blacks out here. I think it is sufficient to say that I have made the most of the ski season.

But there is a time and a place for everything. The resort is closed. Ski season is over. Yet it continues to snow. I figure that I might as well continue to make the most of it so this weekend some friends and I will be driving to Idaho to do some skiing over there while we still can and I am planning on going in the back country at least once more. There's still good snow to be had. But that's just the thing. It's April. We're supposed to be spring skiing now but we're not. It might as well be January. I am now sick of the snow and the cold. I want to be able to wear the clothes that the stores are advertising, I want to be able to run outside, I want to only have to wear a sweater and not a down jacket, and I want to be able to get in my car in the morning without having to start it 10 minutes in advance! Is that really too much to ask?

Sick of Work, Sick at Work

2008-04-04T11:37:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure if this crisis in plaguing the rest of the country, or just places where it still snows in April, but in Jackson it seems that everyone has been sick for the past couple months and it sucks. As one who doesn't get sick often, I wasn't worried until my co-workers continued to come into work while they were full of diseases that were spreading all over the place every time they coughed and sneezed, sending contagious particles spewing into every corner of the building. Eew.

This has continued to happen. Throughout the day I hear coughs, sneezes, and the blowing of noses. People, if you are contagious, you are not doing anyone a favor by still coming into the office. You are going to infect everyone around you therefore counteracting the fact that you're working, by making others miss days when they're sick. The productivity level will slowly decline as more and more worker bees take sick days.

And no, you're not making yourself look good in the eyes of your boss, quite the opposite actually. You look selfish. You are coming to work to let your boss know you're not a slacker, while you risk infecting everyone else. Selfish. So do us all a favor, go home and rest, read Emily Post sick office rules while resting, and don't come back until you're germ spreading cough is gone.

Hillclimb

2008-04-02T11:49:00.002-06:00

Country done come to town this past weekend in Jackson as we hosted the World Championship Hill Climb.

Rednecks, neon jackets with matching pants, and trailers filled with "sleds" (snowmobiles) took over the town. For those not familiar with Hill Climb, the easiest way to explain it is NASCAR on snow. That is the crowd that it draws. The racers however, do not go at the same time. They take their turn trying to beat each other's times and only 1 out of 5 even make it to the top of the 1,500 vertical foot ascent. The incline at the top is so steep that many of the racers simply flip their sleds backwards, sending them tumbling down to the bottom, with the nearly 10,000 spectators cheering for a good crash.

This year the warm weather was not present at Hill Climb so we cozied into our favorite hillside bar, 43 North, and made the best of it with many a bloody mary. Rednecks had taken over out favorite spot, but the change was a welcome one as we had come not necessarily to watch the actual race, but more so to watch the people, and they were just as entertaining as we had hoped.

Met the Fam

2008-03-26T14:32:00.003-06:00

Witty and sarcastic posts aside, I figured I'd let everyone know about my trip to Massachusetts to meet Bryan's family.

I flew into Boston and Bryan and I spent the first night there with a college friend of his. I got in pretty late, so we just hung out for a while and then called it a night. The next day we took the train into downtown Boston for a little shopping, site-seeing and etc. So since we were in an actual city where I could wear real shoes without being scared that they'd get ruined by snow, I took full advantage. They looked cute, but they did not come in handy as we took the long way to the train station and ended up running a half mile in order to get on the train before it pulled away from the station. Yes, we were those people. As we got on the train I noticed that although I was sweating (surprise, surprise) neither one of us was out of breath. That's what sea level will do to you I guess.

So once we got to Boston our first stop was obviously the three-story Anthropologie. Bryan was very nice and told me to take my time while he wandered around outside, so I did. It was heaven. We also made our way to quite a few historical spots, and over to the Harbor where we were able to eat real seafood, including New England Clam Chowder. Delicious.

After wandering around the city for a good portion of the day, we hopped back on the train and into the car and drove to Northampton (where Bryan is from). We didn't get there until late, so there was no meeting of the family until Sunday morning when I met his sister first. Imagine our surprise (and relief) when we were both wearing the same David Yurman bracelet and ring. Since Bryan is a little on the outdoorsy side, I wasn't quite sure what to expect from the rest of the family. Kind of like if you met my dad or Uncle Jimmy and then met Aunt Lynn. Haha.

Anywho, his family was great. He has an older brother and younger sister who were both in town, and obviously his parents. For Easter breakfast we went to a Sugar Shack - an essential part of my visit to the Northeast I was told. It's where they make maple syrup on one side of the literal shack, and on the other side they serve breakfast. The floor was gravel and the food was good. I loved it.

So other than that we just hung out with the fam, Bryan showed me around his quaint little town, and we went out with a few of his friends. His mom was even nice enough to make me a little Easter basket. Of course I ate a good portion of the candy on my plane ride home and gave myself a stomach ache. Whoops.

Headwall

2008-03-20T16:15:00.005-06:00

After being intimidated all season, I finally hiked the Headwall. I figured that if I could hike Mount Glory, I could definitely hike the Headwall, so hike it I did. My friend, Rachael, and I decided to do it last Sunday. It's a bootpack (essentially steps in the snow) on the way up, just like Glory was, so at least I was used to that. To get to it you have to take the Gondola up, and the Thunder and Sublette lifts. After skiing over a bit from the Sublette lift, you get to the Headwall entrance, strap your skis on your back, and start hiking. It was 100 times easier than Glory, and only took about 20 minutes. Of course sweat was still dripping off of my nose on the way up because I am fortunate enough to have my father's sweat glands. Eeew. But I decided that from now on I am hiking the Headwall every day that's good. The hike was a great workout and the snow on the way down is untouched powder. Perfect. Here are a few photos so that you can see it for yourself ...

The hike we were about to embark upon

Rachael and I at the top.

The view of the valley from the top. So worth it.

back country photos

2008-03-12T08:59:00.015-06:00

SB2K8

2008-03-11T09:58:00.002-06:00

This is a warning for all of you who have the privilege (insert sarcasm here) to be in the working world now. If you have younger siblings and/or friends who are still in school, do not answer their phone calls for the next couple weeks. Those jerks are still able to have a spring break vacation and they will call and tell you that they're sipping margaritas on the beach at 1 in the afternoon while you are stuck in your cubicle. This is not a good feeling as it reminds you of the life you once led and where you are now and will probably be for the rest of your life ... working.

Yes, I did call Jonathan when he was in the working world and I was on spring break in Key West. I don't think that he liked it and now I feel his pain. Although I would like to point out that I think of Jackson as a permanent spring break. Yes, I have to go to work, but the mentality of almost everyone my age in Jackson is that of a spring breaker, hence why I live here. I have to ease myself into this working world that I was warned about for so long. Boo.

Famous people

2008-03-10T14:11:00.003-06:00

You'd think that since I've been here for about a year and a half, I would have seen someone famous by now. But it wasn't until yesterday that I got the chance. Kristi and I had finished skiing for the day and were having a beer at the bottom of the Mountain when our friend Charlotte called and let us know that we should come and meet them at the Mangy Moose for a beer because Harrison Ford was there. As soon as we walked in the door he was standing 3 feet from me. I didn't feel the need to bother him because he comes to Jackson to get away from that, so I just stood there star-struck, until he walked out about 2 minutes later, into the restaurant across the hall. He looked older in person than he does on TV, but he blended into the crowd with his ski gear.

Back Country

2008-03-09T08:19:00.002-06:00

I finally did it. I hiked up Glory Mountain and skied the infamous back country that Jackson Hole is also famous for. Albeit, I thought I was going to die on the way up the mountain, but I did it.

For those who are unfamiliar with this back country talk, allow me to explain. Most tourists know Jackson winters for the resort with the luxurious chair lifts, but if you're a local and really came out here to ski, it's not the resort that has you in awe, it's the back country terrain. People like this skiing so much as opposed to skiing at the resort because you can get fresh powder any day of the week, everywhere you go in the back country for the simple reasons that most people aren't crazy enough and honestly don't have the physical ability to partake in the adventure.

So my adventure begins. Bryan rounds up all the gear I need for the hike and ski down. This includes avalanche gear such as : a beacon (something that leads people to you when you're buried by an avalanche), an avalanche probe (something that people stick in the snow to make sure of where you are before they start digging), an avalanche shovel (to dig you out of the snow pile you've managed to bury yourself in), and a back-pack to carry your gear, including your skis, to the top of the mountain. Sound fun yet?

Once everything was gathered, Bryan, Chris (Bryan's friend who is a back country expert, therefore making me feel more safe), and I drive to the top of Teton Pass where we put on our gear and start the hike up. There is no easing yourself into the hike. It starts of just the way it finishes, steep. Those 4 foot snow banks that the snow plows have been working on all winter are what we have to climb up first. At this point I am already out of breath and beginning to sweat and then I realize that I'm not even 1% of the way finished and wonder if I can somehow bail out now and wait in the car for Bryan and Chris to be finished, but I proceed.

Throughout the climb (that's a level up from a hike which seems too leisurely a word to use for this) there are "special" parts that are steeper than the rest that run the risk of getting you "turtled". Turtled I have learned is when you either fall backwards on your own, or someone much faster comes behind you on the bootpack (the snow steps you're taking up) and throws you backwards. You land on your back with the heavy backpack and skis weighing you down, making it near impossible to get back up, leaving you squirming like a turtle who got thrown on its back. Luckily, this did not happen to me. I digress.

Obviously Bryan and Chris were much faster than me on the climb, therefore giving them ample opportunity to stop, wait, and look down at me struggling to catch up to them. Bryan took a few photos of this at which point he tells me to smile. Smile? Are you kidding right now? This is not a good feeling you are putting me through and I can hardly breathe. What makes you think I'm going to smile for you when I can't even talk? But despite my grumpiness, I think he managed to get some good shots.

Victory. After having quite a few people pass me up the bootpack, I made it to the top. It's true, the view from up top is amazing, even more so knowing that I climbed all the way up (1,600 feet straight up, no switch backs) myself and without the help of a chairlift, which I have now decided is for sissies, but will still be using today. It's also true what they say about the snow up there. It's way better and we got fresh tracks the whole way down.

We skied down a "run" named Big Piney. This means it was covered in trees, making it a little more difficult than an open bowl, but I managed to make it down without breaking anything despite my several falls, which I believe Bryan got photos of as well.

Once we were down the run (which was surprisingly short considering the effort it took to get up there) another adventure laid before us - hitch-hiking back to the car. I admit, I was a little skeptical about this part, even though back country skiers do it all the time. But the 4th car we saw stopped and we gratefully hopped in his Jeep. Come to find out he was the bartender at our favorite Mexican restaurant in town. So we listened to some crunchy jams (hippie music) on the way up for a few miles, and he dropped us off at the car.

I made it. I thought I was going to keel over and die on the way up, but I made it. Maybe it took me a tad longer to get to the top than most, but with the patience of Bryan and Chris I did it. Now the question is - will I do it again?

*Photos to come

Ideal Canidate

2008-03-07T16:04:00.002-07:00

Again, I find something odd that is unique to Jackson.

I am currently in the process of starting to look for places to live. In any city that my devoted fans live in (Charlotte, NYC, Nashville, etc.) it is relatively easy to find a place to live. There are probably nice apartments and even cute houses readily available and for relatively cheap. Well my friends, that doesn't happen here. Example: I contacted someone on Tuesday about an ad that had been placed on Monday. We went to look at it on Tuesday night and were the 9th group of people who had looked at it. There are no apartment buildings here. The owners of condos and homes in Jackson are trying to pay their mortgage with your rent, therefore rent prices are outrageous. The house we looked at on Tuesday had recently been on the market for $820,000. You'd think that it's a very nice home, right? Wrong. It was nice enough, but for that price I'd want stainless steel everything in the kitchen, awesome landscaping, a bathroom for each bedroom, and etc. and that was not the case. It hasn't been remodeled in 20 years.

Anyway, to my unique point. We were in the top two to get this house when I got a phone call today ... saying that we didn't get it because we don't have pets. That's right, do not have pets = not allowed. The woman is apparently an animal lover and didn't feel it was right that in a town where it's hard to find a living situation that allows pets, she would let non-pet owners stay in her home. Ridic.

Would someone please just buy a condo out here? I will take great care of it, pay your mortgage with the rent, and you can sell it in a year and make $500,000 off of it - not kidding. Please contact me if you're interested.

Phones again...

2008-03-07T08:52:00.004-07:00

Apparently phones make people rude in general. Phones should be eliminated.

How important is it that it can't wait until you get home to use a land line? It's not just cell phones, it's call waiting on cell phones and land lines. Whoever invented call waiting should be shot. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm on the phone with someone and they tell me to wait one second while they click over to the other line where they think someone more important may be waiting and inevitably I end up hanging up after I've been waiting for two minutes because they've either a) forgotten about me or b) just don't care. Well listen here, you're talking to me now and I am the only person you need be concerned with unless you're waiting to get test results back that could tell you you're dying, or some other similar emergency.

What happened to the busy signal? One little tone alerted people that you were on the other line and they'd have to try again later, it was perfect. Or if it just went straight to voice mail that would be perfect too so that they could leave a message and you could call them back at your earliest convenience. Multi-tasking should not happen while on the phone, should not.

Note: Emily Post claims it's fine to pick up call waiting but if you are the person who is waiting in silence, it is okay after 90 seconds to hang up. Then hopefully when the other person clicks back over and finds that you're not there, they'll feel bad. Hah.

Dying ... laughing that is

2008-03-06T13:46:00.001-07:00

Plug headphones into your computers at work so that you can listen to this if you haven't already. I was hysterically laughing in my office. Very productive ...

"This accident happened in the Dallas- Ft. Worth area and you must listen to it. It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM that they had to put it on their website.

The guy's laugh is contagious. If you close your eyes and picture what he is watching, it is even better than a video clip!"

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

hehe

2008-03-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

Let's see how many people this gets fired up ... There's no such thing as global warming. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,334682,00.html

20 years too old

2008-03-04T14:50:00.004-07:00

Just as the duty of being a bridesmaid is beginning I get completely blind-sided by another duty in a wedding that I thought I was 20 years too old for ... the flower girl. That's correct - while most girls my age are being asked to be a bridesmaid or heaven forbid, a bride, I was reminded of the youthfulness that preceeds me when I was asked to be a flower girl. So a flower girl I was. This past weekend in the wedding of Barrett Coddington and Ben Morris. Banner and I each carried a basket of rose petals down the isle and with an amazing grace, spread them down the aisle for Barrett to walk on.

I was told that we were the best part of the evening. Hot bridesmaids are a thing of the past, now it's the flower girls you have to look out for ...

*If you don't believe me, check out the end of the article in The Charlotte Observer - http://www.legacy.com/charlotte/Celebrations.asp?Page=Announcement&PersonID=104608538

Cell Phones

2008-03-04T14:33:00.002-07:00

I've touched on this issue briefly with my gym ettiquette spats, but I feel that the topic of cell phone etiquette needs it's own blog as etiquette is obviously not highly valued anymore.

The first cell phone etiquette issue came up in college when my roommate had an arguement with her boyfriend about how it's rude to talk on the phone when you're in the car with other people. Doing my duty, I looked up cell phone etiquette in my Emily Post book so that she could let him know that she once again, was right.

The basic rule of thumb is that the people you are with in person always have top priority. If you someone is meeting up with you and calls then it is appropriate to answer their call, keeping it very brief. If you must take a phone call when out to dinner then excuse yourself from the table and don't be gone longer than 5 minutes.

It is NOT okay to answer your boyfriend/girlfriends telephone call when with other people simply because you miss them and want to talk about mushy things. Wait until after dinner is finished and you're by yourself and then call them back.

One of the worst, as noted before, is talking on your cell phone in the car with other people. If you must answer then keep it very brief and simply tell them you're with other people and will call them back at a better time. At no time during your brief conversation should it make anyone you're around feel awkward or uncomfortable.

If you are in a confined space (an airplane, the bus, the grocery store, etc.) then get off of the phone. I do not care how much you miss and love your boyfriend or how much you hate your roommate, hang up! Being on your phone in check-out lines or while ordering is never okay. If I was at that register and you came up to me and were yapping away on your cell phone, I would push you aside and yell, "NEXT!".

There are many other situations that this pertains to so if you have questions, feel free to consult myself or Emily Post.

www.JuicyCampus.com

2008-02-19T16:08:00.003-07:00

While I was reading the newspaper yesterday (waiting for AAA to come and unlock my car) I came across an article about a website that is generating a good amount of negative publicity on college campuses, www.JuicyCampus.com. It reminds me of the television show Gossip Girl which I have recently become addicted to. Anyone can anonymously post anything about anybody they want to on this website and basically destroy their reputation with one click. You can even ask personal questions about people and get responses from other students who may or may not actually be telling the truth.

Students are worried this will affect not only their reputations, but future jobs as well. My stance is, everyone goes a little crazy in college so who cares. But if you're doing things that you're going to be really embarassed by if other people find out, then don't do it! Plus, if you're going a little too crazy, chances are a good portion of the campus knows about it anyway. People talk and find out things even without a gossip website. But it sure does help.

This if for you, Wes

2008-02-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

After my friend Wes entertained himself at work by reading my blog for the first time, he had a rant of his own that he thought could be shared. After first telling me that I was ridiculous (something I obviously already know), he suggested that I discuss the lazy people (who obviously weren't raised with any manners) who simply leave their grocery carts in the parking lot after unloading their goods.

At first I didn't think much of it because I park in the side lot at the grocery where the shopping carts aren't a problem, but after paying attention, I realized just how ridiculous it is. Not only does this happen at the grocery store, but yesterday at K-Mart (yes, K-Mart, I hate it too) they were everywhere. Yes I understand that it is cold and yes I understand that it is difficult to push a grocery cart through the snow, ice and slush. If it's going to be that big of a problem, then load everything up in your arms (this is usually my method) and walk it to the car yourself. Because guess what happens when you leave your carts out there? They hit MY car or they block perfectly good parking spaces. So if you had the strength to haul the cart out to your car when it was full of groceries, then you can haul it back when it's empty. This is also where children would come in handy so that you can pawn off these annoyingly necessary tasks to them and when they argue just tell them that you put a roof over their head and food in their belly.

This also brings up a good point about the worker bees at stores like this. I know that one of them has it in their job description to round up the grocery carts. Yeah, it's a lot warmer inside, and yeah it sucks that you have to pick up everyone's mess, but you're the one who filled out an application at K-Mart/Albertson's so get outside and start haulin'.

Crocs: still as ugly as when they first came out.

2008-02-08T15:47:00.001-07:00

Okay, let's discuss. Crocs are not only ugly, they are heinous. It was drawn to my attention at the beginning of the winter that now Crocs have come out with a version I could wear in Jackson Hole when it's cold - fur lined Crocs. So just in case you didn't think this shoe could possibly get any uglier, it just did. Unless you are under the age of seven, are a nurse or are working in your garden there is absolutely no reason why you should have these on. Oh, they're comfortable you say? Well great, so are pajama pants but you don't see me wearing those around town. Have some decency people. You are wearing 100% rubber on your feet. Not only that, but even with the holes in them, they can't be that breathable for your feet, I mean, it's rubber. So they're ugly, and more than likely they make your feet sweat and smell, and you're still talking about the comfort issue?

Another benefit some could say would be that these shoes float. Why do you need floating shoes? Get some water shoes with actual straps on them that won't fall off and your good to go. Floating in water is for the keychain that your boat is on, not your footwear.

Crocs also attempted to make a "boat shoe". Leave that to Sperry. The more you add to these terrible things you call shoes, the worse it looks. Hideous.

Hah, there's even a website for people who love Crocs. And go figure that the first photo is a picture of a Florida fan. Gay. http://www.littlerubbershoes.com/post/category/croc-spots/page/1

water water everywhere and not a drop to spare

2008-02-08T09:44:00.001-07:00

That's because the water here is in the form of snow, and we love every inch of it. I'm not sure how many of you are aware of the vast difference between the winter of '06-'07 and this winter. A few weeks ago, the snowfall this year surpassed the TOTAL snowfall for all of last year. In February alone, we've had 64" of snow. We've had 397" (more than 33 feet!) of snowfall total this year on the Mountain. Almost every day has been a fresh powder day to ski. Cutting through the trees insures that the snow will be at least knee deep, waist deep in some places. Teton Pass was closed yesterday and is still closed due to avalanches. The Village Road was closed because of wind and white-out conditions. And again, this morning, I was awoken to the sound of my windows rattling because they were blasting Snow King to prevent avalanches.

So, for those of you who came to visit me and ski last year, I'm sorry. You picked the wrong season to come and visit and I encourage you to get out here this year because the conditions are, to put it in one word, epic. So epic, that Chip Jetton e-mails me almost every day to ask me if it's snowing and how the skiing was. I told him that I could offer him a job shoveling our sidewalk if he came out here as it is covered every morning with fresh pow.

I will provide pictures of this incredible snow very soon. Hard to believe I haven't taken any yet.

Sike

2008-01-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

In a grand gesture yesterday or maybe out of sheer boredom, I sent my mother an e-mail that included the brand new black Hybrid Chevrolet Tahoe that I built on the Chevy website and now reeeeeally want. Since I was 15 I've been going to the Chevy website and building my own car (when i wasn't on autotrader.com looking for a Defender 90), of course adding every luxury that's offered, knowing that there's not a chance in hell I'd actually get it.

I'm sure my mother got a good chuckle out of that e-mail as I also sent her one that included the link to where I want a vacation home, http://www.tcsportingclub.com/. And by I, I mean that she should go about purchasing and I could go about enjoying.

After she e-mailed me back about the car saying, "You have a job, you can buy a car ... You just won't be able to eat. Haha," I realized something. How is it that I have a job and yet could not afford a new car, and she doesn't and can? Of course, she would never tell you that she doesn't work. She says her job is never ending and she never gets to take a break from it. Well people, I'd like to know what my resume needs to say in order for me to get her job. If you know, please share.

Noisy Jackson traffic

2008-01-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

Assuming most of you who read my blog (all four of you, hi mom) live in a sizable city, you probably get woken up in the night by things like traffic, fire trucks and the like. Well in Jackson that's now quite what happens. I was awoken twice last night, once by the crazy wind (upwards of 50 mph, compliments of the storm that California sent our way) and a second time by the activation of dynamite. Yes, dynamite. When it snows as much as it did here last night (12", with 11" more expected throughout the day) they have to make use of these uber cool dynamite guns that they fire at avalanche prone sections of the mountain. And since Snow King is 3 blocks from my house, it sounded like they were launching dynamite outside of my window. While I wasn't exactly amused with being woken up early, I was excited that it was by the dynamite (meaning we got a lot of snow) rather than traffic.

As the day has progressed I have received several reports from friends across the town about how intense this particular winter storm has been. Jackson Hole Mountain Resort is actually closed, the whole thing, closed. Between the wind speed at the top of the mountain (more than 50mph) and the probability of avalanches, they decided it would be in everyone's best interest to shut it down for the day. Even Teton Village Road is closed. But are the schools and businesses closed? Of course not.

Photo: This is taken from the top of the gondola. As you can see (or can't see) there is zero visibility. Scary.

2008-01-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I'm aware that I have blogged about the ridiculous prices of the stores I like before, but I have a new take on it this time and a new announcement. Today, I received an e-mail from vineyard vines. Without even opening it, I immediately deleted it as I am boycotting vineyard vines.

So Ralph Lauren, Lacoste and Lilly Pulitzer are all pretty pricey, right? The difference between them and vineyard vines is that those three retailers have very established businesses, have worked their way up, built a clientele that has lasted generations, and have been around the block. Who does vineyard vines think they are that they can just waltz into the preppy world that we live in and immediately have ridiculous prices?! It's a bit arrogant and assuming if you ask me (even if it is working) and I for one will not stand for it.

Being preppy is not a trend, it means you've been like that for the majority of your life and most likely that your parents and even their parents were like that too. AKA - preppy people have spent a lifetime or longer building their style and reputation (you can't just wake up one day and say "I'm preppy"), so shouldn't their retailer have to do the same when it comes to their prices? Seriously Shep and Ian.

Long. Live. Lilly.

Get it While it's Hot

2008-01-23T14:36:00.001-07:00

Daniel Cottingham and Christina Brown are engaged! Christina is originally from Asheville and went to UNC (Daniel couldn't handle a girl who wasn't a Tarheel fan) and works for Cottingham Chalk with Daniel. They both came to Jackson Hole last winter with Chip, Alex, and Tate so I got to meet Christina and spend some QT with her skiing. They've been dating a little over a year.

Gym Etiquette 102

2008-01-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Workout attire. The majority of people at the gym do very well in this category, once again it's those few who seem to spoil it for everyone else. Shorts, spandex pants, T-shirts, Nike Dri Fit, Under Armour. All of these are acceptable forms of workout clothing. A sports bra with no shirt is not. Everyone is happy to see that you don't have a confidence problem with how you look, really, but it'd be better hidden under a cute top, it's -15 degrees here, we're nowhere close to the beach so stop dressing like you're headed to the ocean.

Another reason women might do this is because they get hot easily. Well I am here to tell you that the women who wear only sports bras to work out in are the same women who don't sweat, they "glow," and guess what? I sweat when I work out, a lot, and that is the purpose that the T-shirt/Dri Fit serves, it absorbs my sweat so that it doesn't drip all over the equipment. If I can suffer through the heat when I work-out then so can everyone else, that's what you do.

When it gets warm enough here to run outside, you help yourself to running in a sports bra on the trails, but for the gym, it is not acceptable. Get some couth people.

Gym Etiquette 101

2008-01-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

So apparently etiquette classes aren't as prominent in the rest of the country as they are in the south so for those of you who do not follow these rules already, please take note.

A cell phone and the gym do NOT go together. I was working out last night and saw FOUR people blabbing away on their cell phones while working out, well guess what? Believe it or not, the gym is some people's relaxation place, time they take out of the day to spend with themselves, time to wind down from their busy work day and release some energy. When that happens, we do not want to hear you arguing on the phone with your husband about what starch is going to be served at your dinner party. The fact that I even see cell phones on the treadmill when people are running angers me even when they don't talk on it. I mean, who do you think you are that you can't be out of touch with people for an hour and a half of the day? Well I am here to tell you that if you're working out at a public gym then you're not that important because if you were you'd either be with a personal trainer or have a personal gym in which case you can talk on your cell phone all you want because I won't be around to be contaminated by your noise pollution. Selfish and inconsiderate.

Another point: If you have enough breath in you while you're working out to pick up your cell phone and have a conversation then you're not working hard enough so get off of the treadmill that I am waiting on before I come up and trip you myself.

Phew. I feel better now.

It all starts in the workplace

2008-01-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

Our break room is directly across from my office. Therefore, whenever anyone goes in there and sets new goodies out I am always the first to notice. Not only that, but I have to walk by them every time I leave my office.

This is where my workplace theory starts. America is fat because of the token few who bring this junk food into the workplace, subjecting other usually healthy people to their poor eating habits. Now not only are we sitting all day long, but now we have junk food to eat too. When I go grocery shopping it is rare that I buy sweets or chips or any of that because I know I would eat it. But thanks to those precious few (insert sarcasm here), it doesn't matter what I get at the grocery store, because they're bringing the junk food isle to me; how sweet of them.

Now since an overkill of southern greasiness when I was home for Christmas, I haven't had much desire to partake in the break room goodies (thank goodness), but that doesn't mean that they stop coming. As we speak there are two boxes of Fannie Mae chocolate on the table, as well as a Girl Scout cookie sign-up sheet. People in the office complain about how they can't lose weight, well people, let me tell you why, "The only time you get out of your chair is so that you can get a greasy snack."

This is also why I'm starting a new non-profit organization (as if Jackson needs another one) called Simpson's Retirement Fund. You see, I think this is another reason for me to retire, I'd have more time to work-out and cook healthier meals. If you would like to contribute please contact me at simpson.burleson@gmail.com and I will readily send you my address so that you can mail me a check. Gracias.

Slednecks

2008-01-15T10:46:00.000-07:00

Considering that the large majority of people who read my blog have never lived anywhere that snow stays on the ground for more than a few days, I am going to assume that you're not familiar with the term, or the people that we refer to in the West as slednecks.

Slednecks are a sub-species of the very familiar redneck that we know and love in the South. The only real difference is the change in climate that forces this species to adapt to their surroundings. More months out of the year than not, four-wheelers, dirt bikes and the like are not a realistic way of getting around, and NASCAR is not a realistic way of racing. So my friends, the rednecks of the mountains turn to snowmobiles, or "sleds," thus making them slednecks.

Since Jackson is quite a ritzy town for the most part, the locals here would not put up with "sleds" on our streets and neighborhoods, so aside from Hill Climb (NASCAR on snow) in the spring time, I hadn't really been subjected to true slednecks until this past weekend when I accompanied my roommate to West Yellowstone, Montana for her company Christmas party. Apparently in the winter time there isn't anything else to do there but ride around like a bat out of hell, revving your engine at every stoplight (obviously impressing the out-of-towners) on these snowmobiles. There were more snowmobiles on the road than cars. I was unaware they were street legal until this weekend and was not happy to find this out.

Sounds kind of fun though doesn't it? A wave-runner on snow. It is unless you're an actual sledneck. Familiar with the heinous NASCAR jackets that are frequently seen in Concord, NC? Those are in full force come Hill Climb weekend in Jackson, except they actually say sledneck on the back of them instead of NASCAR. The same tents and trailers are set up around Snow King (where Hill Climb takes place). The locals have been known to grow mustaches and mullets in anticipation of Hill Climb, so that they can mock the slednecks that invade our sleepy town with their noise pollution for the weekend.

I must admit though, when that weekend rolls around, I do feel a little at home and proud that if I am ever in the situation where I am in conversation with a sledneck, I have something to talk to them about; the Bristol Motor Speedway and how for a few days of my life, I too was a part of the redneck crowd.

Ladies Locker Room

2008-01-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Okay, I think we can all agree that I am a modest person. Therefore (like any normal person) when I go to the gym I go into a changing room to change from my [very cute] work clothes into my [also very cute] gym clothes. Apparently some women are in too big of a hurry to dart into the changing room and they feel the need to show everything God gave them to everyone else in the dressing room.

Great, I'm glad you wore your fancy underwear today, but I do not need to see them. Save that for your husband when you get home because you are bringing no excitement to the ladies locker room with them.

I mean, is it a freeing feeling to know that every woman who goes to the gym in Jackson has seen you naked? Do you feel proud? Well you shouldn't because it grosses me out right in the middle of my "being finished with work for the day" and "endorphins are on their way" excitement. And we all know that my facial expression says everything and there's no way to hide it, so hopefully those subconscious evil glares will do some good around here. Either that or I'll be pinned as another snobby southerner come to take over town; eh, oh well.

I guess since I live in such a "free" town I should be more accustomed to this, but some things never change, thank God.

*Let me clarify: Obviously you're supposed to change clothes in a locker room, that's what it's there for. It's when women are just hanging out naked that bothers me. I mean how long does it take to change clothes and how hard is it to turn to a wall when you're changing into your sports bra? Not very.

Skiing with Bryan

2008-01-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I finally did it, I let Bryan come skiing with me despite my fear that his ski level was going to far surpass mine and he was going to be bored. Let's keep in mind that Bryan skis (rather, snowboards) the backcountry probably 5 times a week and therefore is in a lot better ski shape than me because I prefer to ride the chair lift, while he prefers to hike to the top of his runs.

Turns out, we did pretty well together. I went down every run he wanted to do even if I was a bit hesitant, and I did it well. Aside from one run that I suggest no one who is the least bit cautious go down, we did good. We skied from 9am - 4pm and I have to say that the soreness I experienced yesterday was something I had not been used to in a while, and I think most of it was caused my pulling myself out of the knee-deep snow after I fell. (Note: If you don't fall, you're not trying hard enough). The fall itself is glorious because of the soft powder. It feels like you're landing in a pile of feathers. But pulling yourself out of that pile of feathers while trying not to let your skis take you over the cliff that looms ahead ... that takes more muscle than one might think.

I seriously doubt this means that I have a new ski partner in Bryan (although he tries to take me back country every weekend), but I was happy to find out that I wasn't too much of a hold-up for him and that the next day, he was sore too.

More Gossip

2007-12-31T13:07:00.001-07:00

So apparently I have been failing to update the blog with the most recent gossip. After going home I am now more aware of everything going on and how information that I thought was common knowledge apparently isn't, so here goes ...

- Quinn Wade and John Yi are engaged!
- Blair Shwedo and Emily Lesher are dating
- I am not moving back to Charlotte in June as planned but am instead staying out here for another year I believe. I just kind of go where the wind blows me.
- New Bryan and I are "dating" again. Not boyfriend/girlfriend, but dating. Also, I gave him organic deodorant upon my return to Jackson Hole yesterday.
- Ashley Joyner and Sarah Maskarninec (both friends from UT) now live in Charlotte and are moving into a house this weekend in Barclay Downs (5 minutes from my house).
- Banner and Cameron are back together ... again.
- Jonathan Honour has a girlfriend, she went to UNCW and knows Elizabeth Waller and Anna Kooiman. She sasses him and it's hilarious.

Feel free to e-mail me gossip updates if I've left anything out.

Assistant

2007-12-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

A few months back I came to the conclusion that I need an assistant. Recently this has been brought to the forefront again. Some of you may be thinking that this sounds ludicrous so allow me to explain myself.

Everything in Jackson closes at 5pm, making it impossible to go to the post office or bank after work. I like to go to the gym after work also, which gets me home around 7 and leaves me little or no time to cook dinner, do laundry and clean in general before I either go to bed early or go out and meet friends for a drink. Not to mention when I have to call and "straighten things out" with the airlines (don't get me started on them) or to close my bank account, or to fix my satellite radio, or call Blue Cross Blue Shield to get a claim filed correctly. I mean, who has time for that?! Sure, if you were put on the line right away with who you were supposed to talk to then it would be fine, but when does that happen?

Picture this: Those automated voice prompts. Me speaking as clearly (and loudly) into the phone as possible and them still not being able to register it, I am then put on the phone with someone in Pakistan because everyone who works for Delta in Atlanta has gone home for the day.

If I had an assistant the phone calls would be handled, packages shipped in a timely manner, chicken marinated so all I had to do would be to stick it in the oven, and etc. Phew. If you know anyone, let me know.

Oh yeah, and there's definitely not time for that on the weekends, the weekends are for playing and that is NOT going to change.

the snow keeps a coming

2007-12-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

I count myself very lucky to have a window in my office ... except on days like today. Because on days like today I can see the snow coming down hard and it makes me want to quit my job and go and work on the mountain so that I could play in the snow every day. There is a tiny loop hole though ... I do have a ski pass to another ski resort in town that has night skiing. But brrrr it get cold here at night.

Only in Jackson, and I LOVE it!

2007-12-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

So yesterday as I was feeling a little under the weather, I left the office around 11am. It's my belief that my ill feeling was caused my pure exhaustion and dehydration from the weekend. You know me, and I like to make the most of everything which in the winter time, means squeezing my social/party life and my skiing time into 2 1/2 days which isn't necessarily the best for your health. So last weekend I went out Friday and Saturday night and skied on both Saturday and Sunday. Maybe not the smartest decision, but I'm leaving on Saturday and won't be able to ski for 2 weeks!

Anywho - as I'm leaving work our security officer kind of gives me this look when I tell him that I'm not feeling well. Clearly he thought I was up to something but I couldn't figure out what. That is until I noticed that when I walked outside it was puking (snowing really hard in Jackson terms). He totally thought I was leaving to go ski for the day! And, man I wish I was because the mountain got 7" more snow, not factoring in the major snow that we got ALL weekend long.

So when I cam in this morning I double checked with Joe (head of security) to be sure he gave me that look because he thought I was going skiing. Sure enough, my intuition was right. So we joked about it and I just thought to myself, "How lucky am I that I live in a place where it's not really frowned upon to skip work for a good powder day."

It is my personal belief that if everyone could move out West for a few years that the world would be a better place. Heaven on Earth.

Dook?!

2007-12-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought that Dook (yes I'm spelling it like that on purpose) couldn't get any worse, they go and steal the best part of our coaching staff; offensive coordinater David Cutcliffe.

I mean give it up Dookies, y'all suck at football and it's just not in the cards for you. Jewish kids from New Jersey can't play football, get over it.

On top of that, Phillip Fulmer just got a raise and signed an extension. I mean I love Tennessee football but I think Fulmer has given us the best he has to offer and he's done. He should have listened to his wife when they were on their way back from winning the national championship in 1997 in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, "It's never going to be this good again, quit while you're ahead." Grrrr.

Lesson learned?

2007-12-13T09:26:00.001-07:00

So apparently my good friend Ashley Joyner (who is currenty residing at my home in Charlotte) thought that she could get away with telling two of our friends some juicy gossip and not the rest, even though she should know from experience that the rest of us will find out anyway.

Joyner (as we affectionately call her) apparently left someone behind when she moved to Charlotte. A boy. A cute boy, that she "forgot" to tell us about. She underestimates what a heartbreaker she is sometimes. Therefore, I am posting it here for all of the world to see.

She was even going to bring this boy to jackson Hole with her when she comes to visit without telling me about their romantic encounters. Hah! Nice try Joyner, learned your lesson yet?

Corbets Couloir

2007-12-13T09:20:00.001-07:00

So this is apparently the hardest double black ski slope in the world. It's why people come to ski in Jackson Hole. And it's also my goal for the end of the season (freaking out yet mom?) Basically if you don't turn your skis as soon as they hit the slope, you run into that pretty cliff face. But if you can do that then you're good to go because that's the hardest part. Thing is, out here Corbet's isn't that big of a deal. People ski in the backcountry and huck themselves off of cliffs all the time so to say that you did Corbet's is kind of like, "What else is new?"

And don't worry, when it happens I will definitely be posting a photo of myself (hopefully not sliding down).

Freezing Boogers

2007-12-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

It's that time in Jackson again, time that it's getting cold enough for your boogers to freeze. Yesterday morning when I was driving to work, it was -3 degrees. Funny thing is, that doesn't sound that cold to me anymore and I actually get excited because when it's that cold there's no chance of the snow melting, thus making it perfect for skiing.

I have also started to plug my car in at night because of the cold. For those of you who don't know because you haven't been to visit (shame on you), I had a block heater put in my car last fall. When it gets super cold I plug it in at night so that it doesn't get too cold, thus not allowing it to start in the morning. It also helps heat the car up quicker in the morning. And I have a cord hanging out of my engine so it definitely looks cool and tough, which is obviously what I'm going for out here.

new skis

2007-12-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

These are my new skis that I got this weekend. I wanted them all last season and finally they're mine! Look how pretty they are!

South Park

2007-12-06T11:15:00.001-07:00

For those of you who don't know, South Park is "the" mall in Charlotte. Complete with a Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Ralph Lauren, Louis Vuitton, Burberry and etc. Well recently we've had some additions and with them came a few new parking decks to accomodate the ever-expanding hords of shoppers who think they can still afford South Park.

Well today whoever built those parking decks is in big trouble because one of them collapsed. Supposedly everyone is okay, but they still haven't released all the details. Who knew shopping could be such a dangerous sport.

Another J.Crew rant

2007-12-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

After a brief look at my closet, even the untrained eye would be able to tell that J.Crew makes up a healthy portion. Therefore I would like to suggest that just as snowboarders and skiers are sponsored by Burton and Rossignol, I should be sponsored by J.Crew.

It's not a completely ridiculous idea if you think about it. Take today for example (or everyday for that matter), I am a walking J.Crew ad. I have on their riding boots, their tartan skirt, and their pintucked tee. Maybe we don't have a J.Crew in Jackson (although we used to have a J.Crew and a Ralph Lauren, grrrr), but that only strengthens my argument. Sure, Jacksonites can no longer browse the racks and look at their window displays, so that's where I come in. As you all know I am what some would refer to as a social butterfly, which would further ensure that fashionistas all around town would get a glimpse of my outrageously preppy get-up, therefore wanting one of their own.

But how do they get it you may ask. Well my friends, when us Jacksonites make our pilgrimage to Salt Lake City we make sure to stop in J.Crew. Not only that, but online shopping is apparently all the rage now even though I quite despise it. However, it is easier with a store like J.Crew when you know what size you wear. That's where I could also come in, eh? I could be Jackson's J.Crew personal shopper. And that my friends, is what I am striving for from here on out. When it comes time to vote I will let you all know.

Yee-haw.

Teton Village

2007-12-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

Over Thanksgiving weekend we went skiing at Targhee (In Idaho, over Teton Pass), but this weekend the mountain in Teton Village opened, aka, the reason that 80% of the people in town moved here. After a little confussion on Saturday, I finally got out there Sunday morning. Of course there are only a few lifts open at the moment, but just getting out there and seeing what I'll be skiing very soon got me excited! It's supposed to snow almost every day this week so hopefully more lifts will be opening sooner rather than later.

I went with a friend who just recently moved out here and it worked out very well because we're on about the same level. Obviously nothing hard is opened yet, but towards the end of the day, skiing on patches of ice was challenging enough. Hopefully the snow this week will cover all that and soon it will be strictly powder skiing!

P.S. Although that photo is not me, it is on opening day in Teton Village. Check out the pow.

Charlotte to Jackson

2007-11-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

I've spotted yet another Charlottean in Jackson Hole. Not sure how many of you remember the Poe twins (Haynes and Carrie I believe) but one of them now lives in Jackson. Being that it's such a small town I see her around quite a bit. The first time I saw her out I went up and introduced myself, but I think I might have scared her seeing as I knew her last name and she had no clue who I was, haha. So I guess I need to say hello again next time I see her. It's always nice to see a familiar face in my little corner of the world.

the dilema of most days

2007-11-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

It's no surprise that I pride myself on my wardrobe. And nothing has changed since I've moved to Jackson. In fact, I might be more proud here because those in Jackson with decent fashion sense are few and far between. Today I think I look especially cute as I am wearing my trouser jeans (that's right, I can wear jeans to work), my tartan flats with a brown velvet bow (from J.Crew) and a brown cashmere sweater vest over a white Ralph Lauren oxford. Let's not forget my brown corduroy blazer and the pearls.

After getting dressed in the morning one of the first things that crosses my mind is, "Man, I'm gonna have to take this off when I get to the gym, therefore limiting the number of people who see me dressed cute". Shallow? Perhaps. But when people make excuses about why they don't want to go to the gym, that is mine. Laziness? No. Cuteness? Yes.

Lilly, vineyard vines, and J.Crew are stalking me

2007-11-26T13:50:00.000-07:00

So at least twice a day I get excited to see that I have a new e-mail in my gmail account, only to find out that it's from J.Crew, Lilly Pulitzer, or vineyard vines. The most recent e-mail I got was from Lilly and the title was, "Have you met Gaby?" Do you think I've met Gaby? Hell no I haven't met Gaby and chances are pretty good that I never will. I work at a non-profit people. I can't meet Gaby and flounce around town with her because the prices you charge are outrageous. It's real nice that you cater to less than 1% of the country's population but still continue to send your e-mails to the other 99% just to taunt us. Anything involving resort wear need not be sent to me because I have no resort to go to, much less the money to spend on a wardrobe of Lilly to wear once I got there. I live in a resort town now that I'm struggling to afford and my ski jackets are as close as I'm coming to wearing resort wear.

And don't get me started on vineyard vines. I mean they sell a quilted jacket that looks identical to the iconic Burberry jacket and they charge almost the same price! No, that is not okay.

So after ranting about this to my mother she asked the seemingly obvious question, "Why don't you just unsubscribe from the e-mail and catalog list then?" Well it sounds reasonable but that just can't happen. You see in my little corner of the world it is hard enough to keep up with everything that is going on in trendy cities. So I have to continue getting the depressing catalogs and e-mails that I can't afford simply so that I can stay up-to-date and possibly purchase knock-offs from Target when I'm lucky enough to make it to Idaho Falls.

Sigh.

Honeymooners

2007-11-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

As Holland and David returned from their honeymoon in Jamaica they came home to a warm welcome in the Nashville newspaper. Check it out here http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071125/FEATURES01/711250328. Bwahahaha.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

2007-11-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

So the valley floor isn't covered in snow yet, but the surrounding mountains (The Tetons) sure are and I am taking full advantage. I'm not quite sure how I will ever get adjusted to the humidity again because I LOVE the cold weather out here! Not to mention that my flat iron definitely gets a rest with me living here. On Thursday, Bryan (new Bryan that is) went snow shoeing over Teton Pass to Ski Lake. He said it was easy (this coming from someone who hikes up 1,600 ft. in his snow gear with his skis strapped to his back so that he can ski down) so I took it in stride when it was a little more difficult than I was thinking. Nonetheless as I go with the flow most of the time I trekked on and really enjoyed it! He might have had to go a little slower than he wanted, but I wasn't too far behind. We snow shoed 3 miles there and 3 miles back. It was gorgeous. We were the only people there and once we got up to Ski Lake (after ascending 1,000 ft) the view was incredible. So, yes it was a workout but I loved it!

I also went skiing today for the first time this season and I was so excited to be back on the slopes! I really improved quite a bit last year and I plan on skiing at least two days a week during the winter so hopefully I'll be stellar on the "pow" when I finish up this season. Bryan is trying to get me to go back-country skiing with him but I'm not so sure I'm up to the challenge yet. I'm telling you, I remember when I used to see people skiing on Sugar Mountain who I thought were good but they don't hold a candle to the people out here. it is incredible to see some of the obstacles people ski down. I wish you all could see it because it is unbelievable. I suggest renting a ski movie perhaps? Lost and Found by Teton Gravity Research is very good.

gobble gobble

2007-11-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

As much as I missed seeing family and friends in Charlotte, Thanksgiving in Jackson could not have been any better. I have been extremely fortunate in that I have met a fantastic group of friends out here. Obviously they're all southern too so our Thanksgiving meal was nothing less than delicious by Paula Deen's standards. I made mom's cornbread dressing and we had 3 fried turkeys, Paula Deen's recipe mac n' cheese, corn casserole, Sister Shubert rolls (shipped all the way from Alabama via one of our friends' mom), ham, goose and duck (shot fresh that morning by a few of our guy friends, gotta love those southern boys), and more. We had more food than we knew what to do with and the company was the same (and we know that I live by the motto, "The more, the merrier"). Our friend Robbie hosted the meal and we were there from noon until 7:00pm. We played boce ball, watched football and just had a good ole' time. I wish that you all could come and visit me so that you could see how fabulous it is in my corner of the world!

Thanksgiving

2007-11-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Turkey Day is fast approaching and since we live too far away, most of our friends are staying in town for this food-lovers holiday. My roommates and 40 of our closest southern friends will all be gathering around for dinner. The boys are cooking the turkey and the girls are bringing the sides and the dessert. New Bryan is also coming to this Thanksgiving with me. I think he might be overwhelmed by the Southerners but hopefully he can handle it since he has been able to put up with me so far.

The Ball

2007-11-19T10:19:00.001-07:00

So the Fireman's Ball was a success. We went over to a friend's house before hand to "pre-game" and then made our way over to Snow King. I was dressed appropriately this year thank goodness. They had this band called Boondocks that played. They're on the bluegrass side and were super good. Then of course we made our way over to our favorite spot, 43, and continued the night as usual. Louise Burton's (girl I went to elementary school with) band was playing there - always a good time. So I stayed out of trouble for the most part and wasn't over-dressed.

I did however buy a dress for a Christmas cocktail party we're going to out here. Hallelujah, we can wear a cocktail dress! Our friends are sending out formal invitations and everything and obvi my dress is super cute. I would post a photo of it online but I can't seem to find it online ...

Charlotte Bound Joyner

2007-11-19T10:13:00.001-07:00

It's official - Ashley Joyner is moving to Charlotte! She accepted a job with
Flakeboard America, a company that manufactures and designs micro particle boards (aka cabinets, furniture, etc that you find it a lot of apartments, offices, etc). Her title will be Accounting Receivables Lead. Basically she'll be the AR manager and will eventually have one to two people working under her, although this
probably won't happen until February.

Her first day will be December 3! She's not sure right now if she will be in Portland, Oregon for training at the beginning of December or if she will already be in Charlotte.

My mom and Bob have offered for her to stay with them for a couple weeks in December since the lease that her and Sarah (Maskarinec) will have probably won't start until the beginning of January.

So I guess since everyone is moving to Charlotte that it's getting close to my turn. We shall see.

Fireman's Ball

2007-11-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

Let me take a poll here: When you hear of an event titled "Fireman's Ball" you would probably be wearing at least a cocktail dress, right? Wrong. I found this out the hard way last year. I wore my black cocktail dress and looked like a world class idiot when I showed up, as everyone else was in jeans. This year I will be once again attending this Fireman's Ball and I will be better equipped with my cowboy boots than I ever was with a cocktail dress, not to mention warmer and more comfortable.

Aside from the down-graded western wear that will be there we will also have a Motown band playing. Since us southerners out here travel in packs, we'll be sure to fill up the dance floor and show Jackson Hole how we do it in the South. Giddy up!

Is it too soon?

2007-11-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Every year it seems that the Christmas decorations come earlier and earlier. This year as I was in K-Mart (yes, I go to K-Mart here but rest assured that I would NEVER buy clothes there) looking for add-ons to my Halloween costume I noticed that they had the Christmas candy out already. Not to mention that since mid-October one of our neighbors has had a ginormous blow-up snowman in their yard also.

This being said, it raises the question, how early is too early to start celebrating Christmas? Now I like Christmas and Santa Claus perhaps more than a grown girl should. I love the arrival of cold weather, the smell of a Christmas tree, the gifts that Santa always brings and James Taylor's Christmas CD. It makes me smile just now to think about it. However, the reason behind the earlier and earlier arrival of Christmas is because of money. The sooner you get the merchandise out there, the more you sell.

But I say, keep Christmas coming early, everyone has higher spirits around holiday season. And if you're that much of a sucker that you start buying early and throughout the season, then I hope you have the money to back it all up. And if you do, then please mail me some.

Plug

2007-11-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today I would also like to do a bit of free advertising for one of my favorite companies in the world ... Moosejaw. I'm not sure if many of you have heard of but not only do they offer excellent products, they also run their company the way I would if I were to ever run a company, and that is that they are laid back and like to have fun in everything that they do. Let me give you a few examples of how much fun they are and how they've gone against all of the stuffy ways that we're used to ...
- When you receive your package it comes equipped with a sticker that says, "Sealed with a Kiss" and it has a big lipstick mark on it. It is then hand-signed by the person who was responsible for putting your package together.
- The T-shirt I bought is a size medium. When it says medium in the back of the shirt it also says, "My calves and eyes are a size medium too". And it's the softest T-shirt I've ever owned (Joyner, even softer than your Jackson Hole T-shirt)
- The sweatshirt that I bought is a size large. Underneath where it says the size it also says, "Large are like lions. RRRRRRRR."
- When you call their phone number, instead of giving you that awful music to listen to, its very interesting useless trivia instead
- The sticker I have on my nalgene says, "Backpacking - Climbing - French Kissing - Paddling - Adventure Racing"

Therefore, I suggest that you all go and check their website out because there are traces of how much fun they have spread all over the place!

SuperStar

2007-11-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

So we just had our monthly all staff meeting where we discuss very important top secret matters that I am not allowed to talk about on my blog. However one of those matters is employee of the month and that I can share with you and I'd like to, mainly because I was selected as this month's best employee! Now aside from the reassurance that everyone loves me, I also get to park right beside the building which will make walking to and from my car very nice as the winter weather rages here in Jackson. Now I just need to find a way to get that employee of the month deal again come February ...

?!

2007-11-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

All hope is lost. That's right. Guys are becoming way too into fashion and in the South especially, that is not okay. Someone that will remain anonymous has just informed me that he bought his first pair of Seven jeans and wasn't sure if I would be proud of him or laugh at him. Well let me assure you, proud is one thing I am not. I can not believe he caved and gave in to everything that he was once against. He used to make so much fun of me for how expensive my jeans are and now look at him. Big salary or not that is just not okay. Not acceptable at all. Please join me in poking fun at him. I mean, look how queer that photo looks! Faded jeans for guys? Seriously? Boys who wear designer jeans are way too into themselves as the only jean label they should be familiar with is Levi's!

If only I had been this passionate about school ... hahaha.

Stay Updated

2007-11-05T13:32:00.001-07:00

Since I like to be in the know I have various "tools" I use to help me. Obviously staying in touch with "my people" is a large part of it. I also read the Charlotte Observer everyday at lunch.

Now, lunch on Mondays is always the best to read the paper - why? Because it has the women's sports page (from Sex in the City) in it - Celebrations, otherwise known as the wedding section. That darn page gets more and more interesting the older I get because everyone, even those younger than me, is dropping like flies and I must say that I do enjoy reading about it. Mary Ellen Horn and Scott Browder, Eliza Drury, Kate Adkins, Brooke Hawthorne, they're all on there and more are on their way ...

Giada!

2007-11-05T13:25:00.000-07:00

Okay so this isn't exactly Charlotte, Tennessee or Jackson Hole gossip but I thought it would be appreciated nonetheless. My favorite Food Network star, Giada De Laurentiis of Everyday Italian is pregnant! Not only that, but I also found out why she always has such cute clothes ... her husband is a fashion designer for Anthropologie! What a life, good food and good clothes. Sounds perfect!

It's Working!

2007-11-05T13:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm not sure if my blog was the reasoning behind the news spreading so fast, but I'd like to think so. Jordan got an e-mail from her friend Sara Henley asking if it was true that she was moving back to Charlotte. Apparently another girl we went to high school with, Alyson Sowell, told her.

If only you could get a degree in gossip ... I'd love to know how this got around.

Rocky Top!

2007-11-01T13:22:00.000-06:00

A few more photos from Rocky Top ...

2007-11-01T13:20:00.000-06:00

Just because I'm in Jackson doesn't mean that my eyes don't travel everywhere for me. This time Holland took my eyes with her to see good 'ole Rocky Top whoop up on South Carolina. Suckers.

Dating already?

2007-11-01T11:12:00.000-06:00

Okay so y'all will figure out sooner or later so might as well tell you now ... I am now dating someone new. His name is ... Bryan. Very weird, I know. He is 26 and he just moved here about a month ago from Massachusetts. He went to a small liberal arts school in Mass where he majored in architecture and minored in sculpture. That's right, he's artsy. He was a project manager for a construction company in Mass and is hoping to be an architect here. He's a very good snowboarder who mainly goes in the back country which I have told him I will not be doing. So yeah, I think that's it. I haven't taken a photo yet but when I do I will be sure to post it. And unfortunately he's not on Facebook either, you stalkers.

ta-ta

2007-11-01T11:10:00.000-06:00

So Jordan is moving back to Charlotte after only 5 months spent in Jackson Hole. She's too scared of the cold and the snow to stay any longer so that's that. Her mom is flying in a week from this Saturday so that she can drive back to Charlotte with her.

Southern Proper

2007-10-31T10:15:00.000-06:00

Not sure if you have all heard of Southern Proper or not, but just in case, it's a fairly new company that is similar to vineyard vines. It was created by two young southern girls and they started out by making neckties and have been expanding the line ever since.

Well, they have a "Belles for Beaus" program where one or two girls from each college of their choosing represent Southern Proper on their campus. It should come as no surprise that Banner was chosen as one of the "Belles for Beaus" at UT. I thought I would share their website with you since there is a photo of her on it. Let the photos scroll and you'll see her!

http://www.southernproper.com/belles_for_beaus.html

Haunted Forest

2007-10-31T10:07:00.001-06:00

So since we already did our whole Halloween party deal we've decided that we're taking it easy tonight and that we're going to go to a haunted forest instead of to a party. Now it may not seem like a big deal but seeing as how the last haunted house/forest I went to was in 8th grade and I literally peed my pants - it could get ugly. However, I've been told that there are no chainsaws like in 8th grade, so hopefully we're good to go. I'll write tomorrow and let you know how it goes. Good thing they make big girl diapers, eh?

Halloween

2007-10-29T10:20:00.000-06:00

So this past Saturday was when we celebrated Halloween in Jackson Hole. Since I'm old now and can no longer go out during the week this past Saturday was it. We had a party at our house before the big party at Snow King for which we made scary Halloween punch with a hand made out of ice sticking out of it and Kristi even carved a liquor luge for the enjoyment of everyone. I refrained from that mainly because it seems very unsanitary.

The costumes were fantastic. Our friend Dylan won the costume contest with his Franzia box that he made for himself, complete with a bag of Franzia taped to the inside for his enjoyment throughout the evening. We had 5 friends with various costumes that required them to be on wheels which of course resulted in several very entertaining wipe-outs.

Enjoy the photos!

P.S.
My cousin Barrett (Marjorie's older sister) is engaged! Her and her fiance, Ben, are getting married March 1st at Charlotte Country Club, where the reception will be also. Here comes the wave of weddings ...

Sorry Hannah ...

2007-10-26T18:48:00.000-06:00

The masses want to know about the boy. So his name it Mitchell Thoreson and he's from Marietta, Georgia. He is two years older than Hannah and he went to Emory University in Atlanta. He is a 3L at Mercer now and will graduate this year. What's Hannah going to do when he leaves? Sad day, eh?

If you need more stalker info he is on Facebook too. Man, Hannah is going to kill me and Mitchell is going to think that I'm crazy. Sorry you two - we have an extremely nosey family as if you didn't know by now. I'll write more when I find out more but for now I am off on a date of my own!

P.S. Jonathan is dating some girl too but he's sketchy about it so I don't know those details, you can poll him for that.

Are we Getting Old?

2007-10-26T12:20:00.000-06:00

So as I went back to the house I am staying at for two nights, i was excited about watching a new episode of Grey's Anatomy only to find out that high schoolers apparently don't watch that show. Do they think it's a show for older people, like I used to think about E.R.? Surely not.

She was watching some television show called Premonition that's about these two boys who can read minds, or something along those lines. I mean, really?! Has it come to this, that we are now watching "old people" television shows? However, when I went into the bedroom to watch it I noticed that the content was geared towards an older crowd.

I then started to think about how we watched Dawson's Creek and was that the same thing. Turns out Dawson's Creek was a show for younger people and Grey's is for older people. We're old.

Housesitting in Teton County

2007-10-26T12:16:00.000-06:00

So last night and tonight I get to housesit/babysit. The girl is 17-years-old so I'm not really babysitting, although I am scared she's going to try and throw a party. But, she's taking the SAT on Saturday so that shouldn't be a problem.

But it's nice to see how the other half lives in Jackson Hole. It's a large house in Wilson at the very back of a small sub-division. Now a sub-division in Jackson Hole is a tad different than one in Charlotte being that I can not see the neighbors house from any part of the house where I'm staying. Oh yeah, and I saw a moose last night in the road on my way there - crazy.

Halloween Par-tay

2007-10-24T14:07:00.000-06:00

As we all know, I rather enjoy having people come to me instead of the other way around, so this year we are having a Halloween pre-party at our condo. How we're going to fit the 20+ people that were invited into our small condo I'm not quite sure of yet but I am excited nonetheless.

We are still trying to decide on a themed drink that we could make at an inexpensive rate of course. So if anyone who reads this has any ideas please let me know.

Unfortunately this Halloween party will be overlapping the Tennessee/South Carolina game. But luckily, everyone our age in Jackson Hole is from the South and appreciates a good college football game just as much as the folks back home. Sooo Go Big Orange!

The New Crazy Cat Lady

2007-10-24T13:44:00.001-06:00

So apparently "Crazy Cat Ladies" are outdated and now "Crazy Squirrel Ladies" are all the rage.

I bring you this news today because my good friend Sarah works with one of these squirrel fanatics. Apparently she has been bringing a baby squirrel to work with her for the past few weeks. Now no one is supposed to know about this, but the un-named woman told her cube mate that if she heard something moving around while she was gone, not to worry, it was only her pet squirrel that she was nursing.

The squirrel is currently wrapped in a blanket in a tote bag under her desk. My next prediction is that people in the office are going to begin screaming when that thing escapes from "crazy lady" and starts darting around the office making cube-to-cube visits.

Oh yeah, and Crazy Squirrel Lady also has a pet billy goat at home. Guess people would have noticed if she tried to smuggle him into the office ...

The Refuge

2007-10-23T08:13:00.001-06:00

So as some of you may know, my office building is directly across from the Elk Refuge here in Jackson. Unfortunately the window in my office (that's right, I have a real window and a real office) doesn't look out onto it, but I still drive by it every day on my way in.

The elk have started migrating from Yellowstone into the Refuge as it is getting colder with each day, making it really something to see. Come winter time there will be thousands of them in there.

Well, this morning while I was walking from my car into the office and watching all of the migrating elk, you could hear them! Now you might think they would have this great big, deep, scary voice since they are huge animals but in actuality it's very squeaky and high pitched. The male elk makes a bugling noise to attract the female elk and that's what I got to hear this morning and it was incredible. We even have a room in the Museum that specifically looks out onto the Refuge and has very strong binoculars that we go and look through every once in a while to get an up-close look.

When more snow starts falling there is also a sleigh ride through the elk refuge that is offered. Whoever decides to come and visit me this winter, put that on your calendar!

Today's Gossip

2007-10-22T11:33:00.000-06:00

- Hannah Honour has a law school boyfriend now. They've been dating for a couple months now and he is a 3L at Mercer. And now we have a photo for all to see. She's really going to appreciate this (hah!).